How to talk to others with a different point of view
Having conversations with people who have different perspectives can be a great opportunity to learn and grow, especially in college when you鈥檙e developing your own opinions.听听
By listening and understanding where someone else is coming from, you give yourself the chance to learn new things, find common ground and become a better person. And if you find that you disagree with someone, talking it out is an essential skill that can help build trust and strengthen relationships.听
Here are some ways to turn a difficult conversation into a thoughtful discussion.听
听听Approach conversations with an open mind听听
College is a great place to consider new ideas and hear different viewpoints. When you listen with genuine curiosity and let others share their thoughts, you鈥檙e giving yourself the chance to learn more and see things from new angles.听
Remember, everyone鈥檚 background and life story affects how they see the world鈥攊ncluding yours! Take some time to think about how your beliefs and opinions came to be, and stay open to learning how someone else鈥檚 experiences have shaped their views, too.听
听听Prioritize listening听听
During a conversation, it can be common for people to think about their response while the other person is talking, instead of fully paying attention to what鈥檚 being said. Conversations aren鈥檛 about 鈥渨inning鈥 or proving someone wrong鈥攖hey鈥檙e about exploring different ideas together.听听
Try to listen with the goal of understanding, and not just to respond. Setting the intention to listen will help you approach conversation more openly rather than coming to it with set points and arguments.听听听
When someone鈥檚 talking, give them your full attention. Ask questions if you鈥檙e not sure what they mean, and genuinely encourage them to share more about their perspective. This approach can make you a better communicator, and it helps others feel valued and listened to鈥攚hich is key for having honest, open conversations.听
听听Practice effective communication strategies听听
Having good communication skills can help direct the conversation in a productive way. Here are some skills to use when talking with someone with a different perspective:听听听
Be mindful. If someone feels passionate about a topic, it may bring up strong feelings. But remember, you can only control what you say and how you say it, so tone and demeanor matter. Arguing may feel satisfying in the moment, but it鈥檚 often an ineffective communication tool.听
Ask open-ended questions. Get curious about where the other person is coming from, and ask questions to gain a deeper understanding of how the person has come to their perspective.听听
Use reflections to clarify. Restating what you think someone is saying gives them a chance to clear up any confusion or explain more about what they mean. You don鈥檛 have to agree with them to show you鈥檙e making an effort to understand where they鈥檙e coming from.听
Acknowledge different perspectives. Whether someone agrees with another person鈥檚 position or not, they can acknowledge or affirm what is important to them and the values that form their perspective. Recognizing a shared value (such as caring for others, autonomy, honesty or integrity) that underlies a viewpoint can be a way of bridging differences.听听
Before you share your own thoughts, try to repeat back what you understood the other person is saying. This shows you鈥檙e listening and makes them feel heard. When you respond, use 鈥渁nd鈥 instead of 鈥渂ut鈥 to connect your ideas. For example, you could say, 鈥淚 understand where you鈥檙e coming from, and I have a different point of view. Here鈥檚 how I see it...鈥 Using 鈥渁nd鈥 helps keep the conversation open and respectful, so the other person doesn鈥檛 feel shut down or defensive.听
Remember, it鈥檚 okay if you don鈥檛 resolve every difference in one conversation. You can always leave space to revisit the issue later, allowing everyone time to reflect and return with a fresh perspective. Most importantly, end your discussion with appreciation for the other person鈥檚 willingness to talk things through鈥攅xpressing gratitude builds trust and keeps the lines of communication open for the future.听
听听Find support听听
CU Boulder offers programs and spaces for people to share their perspectives and learn skills to have thoughtful conversations.听
Student Conduct & Conflict Resolution (SCCR)听听
SCCR helps students develop skills for having challenging conversations through conflict coaching, mediation and consultation services.听听
Center for Cultural Connections & Community听
The Center offers various events, programs and groups where students, faculty and staff can join fellow Buffs to share their experiences and learn from others in a welcoming space.听听
Center for Student Involvement (CSI)听听
CSI offers resources for student activism and guidance for Buffs looking to get more involved in civic engagement.听听听
CU Student Government (CUSG)听听
CUSG, the official governing and representative body of the student population, provides a space for Buffs to bring attention to and respectfully discuss issues they are passionate about.听听
Office of Institutional Equity & Compliance (OIEC)听听听
OIEC offers skills-based workshops for students, faculty and staff to effectively work across differences and build healthy workplaces, classrooms and relationships.听